The Internet Has No Eraser…

Need To Be Visible, But Want To Hide?
Last week I received a question from a young woman in North Caorlina.  She knows she needs more of an on-line presence to grow her business, but doesn’t know how to balance her private life with the transparency of the internet.
GREAT QUESTION! and she’s not alone.
I understand this concern… Completely!  Especially given that a strong internet presence is a HUGE part of my own business!
It’s easy to connect and share things about yourself in a private situation… without feeling like you’re being monitored. And on the internet, in public, it’s out there for anyone and everyone to see.
Check out the video below where we talk about ways to keep things “behind closed doors” so-to-speak, while not being afraid to put yourself out there…
One of my greatest gifts is rapport. I can connect with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Throw me in a room full of strangers and I’m good to go.  And yet, I totally relish my alone time, so you’re not alone in wanting to create balance between the two.  (I had a friend once tell me about herself, “I’m private. I’m not shy.”)
Online, you must take concern. You must pay attention.  The internet has no eraser.
I have a huge passion for helping women entrepreneurs so that they can create ANYTHING they want for themselves and in order for me to be successful in that mission, I had to master three things…
  • I had to be able to reach them.  e.g. the internet; specifically, social media
  • I had to have valuable content to share with them; stuff that could really serve them.  (The last thing I want to do is waste anyone’s time) and
  • I had to find a way to convey my authentic self. I needed to be able to create that same trust with someone online as if I were face to face with a friend.
When I first got started, finding that balance between sharing enough of myself and not too much was a big challenge for me (or so I thought) as I asked my self the very same question.  Then, I reminded myself that I was in complete control of whatever it is that I share and I rephrased the question.  How do I show people every bit of who I am without showing them everything?
IN YOUR BUSINESS, this is the goal… It’s the target. It’s how you establish a relationship with new clients and deepen the relationship with existing ones. You want people to get to know you through what you share and you want them to know and trust that you have their best interest at heart; no matter what that interest might be.  Just make sure that what you’re sharing will contribute. The idea is to share quality content; something that adds value.
Using the internet and social media to market yourself and your business while still maintaining a private life deserves thought and consideration. You DO need to be careful of what you post and remember, THE INTERNET HAS NO ERASER. Anything you share can (and might) be recorded, captured or shared.  Everyone has a cell phone with a camera and almost anything can be almost instantly uploaded. ***
*** Remember before digital cameras came along… and you actually had to go to the photo store and drop off your negatives to be developed… Well think of the internet as the Polaroid camera. At least if you made an ass out of yourself, there was a chance you could intercept the negatives and destroy the evidence. But, not so with the Polaroid camera… It was instantaneous. (well almost instantaneous… 45 seconds of fanning that thick plastic card and VOILA ~ Instant Embarrassment!)  Less than 45 seconds and that cell phone snap of you doing the belly shot is instantly shared with 1000 of your closest Facebook friends.  Next thing you know you’re tagged and grandma wants to know how you got the salt in your bellybutton?
TED videos are awesome.  I LOVE ‘EM and I learn a lot.  (Sometimes they even make me cry.)  They are ALL great.  You can’t go wrong AND whichever video you choose, tells whoever sees your post a little bit about you and what you’re drawn to…
A guy I know once told me that his mother taught him that before he said anything, he needed to ask himself three questions and I think this is a great rule of thumb for anything you post on the internet.
So, when it comes to what you share via the web, ask yourself the following three questions:
  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it nice?
  3. Is it necessary?
If you can answer all three of those questions with a “yes”, then go for it.
If you know it to be true, then cool…  share the wealth…
If it’s nice, (which could be as simple as a photo that makes you smile or a video of a baby monkey riding a pig that cracks you up), then re-post it.  Share the photo of your family.  It makes you look happy and people will be drawn to that.  How many times have you seen something and thought to yourself, “Oh, that’s just like me…”  People like people like themselves.  Share the video blooper reel.  The “reel” will make you REAL!  Anything can be considered added value if brightens someone’s day.
Is it necessary? Look at #2 and then give thought to how many videos of pig riding baby monkeys people REALLY want to see. Value added content doesn’t have to always be educational, but keep it in check.   Yes, you want to inform and give people stuff that can improve their life and that doesn’t always have to come in the form or charts, graphs & data.
People like to read well written articles or blog posts (sometimes, about nothing in general – just well written) and they love videos with a message…  AND, don’t undervalue the power of laughter.   You will  never know how what you say or do or share might affect someone.   Just make the random YouTube videos of the kids trying to eat a teaspoon of cinnamon, just that…  random.
If you’re still not sure of what’s enough to give someone a taste of who you are and what’s too much, I’lI leave you with Pareto’s Law.  Pareto’s Law is the 80%/20% Principal. It basically says that 20% of your effort will yield 80% of your results. 20% of your clothes get worn 80% of the time… 20% of your carpet get 80% of the wear… You get the point… Make 20% of your stuff stuff that people can really benefit from and make the other 20% more entertainment & personally driven…
You’ll get the hang of it and people will start to get the jist of who you are.
SO, tell me… Who else has “Social Media Privacy” Anxiety?
Come on, don’t be afraid to share…  It’s easy!
until next week…

5 Tips For Shaking Off A Mistake

by Vito Scarafile on Thursday, September 30, 2010

I recently asked my Dad if he’d be willing to do a guest blog spot and he agreed. I love these, especially the last one about sleep.  “)

Legendary Basketball Coach John Wooden once said, “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.” The obvious point he was trying to convey is that everyone makes mistakes and fails. It is what you do after the mistake or failure that makes all the difference. Here are 5 ways to shake off your mistakes and move forward to success.
•Brush it off
No one is perfect. Once in awhile everyone makes mistakes, it’s going to happen. Don’t spend time worrying about it, cooperate with the inevitable and focus on what you are doing.
•Don’t fuss about trifles
Forget the small stuff. If you let go of the smaller mistakes, you’ll be more focused and catch the larger ones before they happen.
•Don’t worry about the past
Shake off your mistakes and move on. Forget about what happened, no matter how silly or embarrassing. By letting go of the past it will help you focus on your current task.
•Profit from your mistakes
So you’ve made a mistake, now figure out why you made the mistake, make a note and move on. Making even a mental note will help remind you to be more careful next time the situation comes up.
•Rest before you get tired
Many times silly mistakes are made simply because you are tired. Make sure that you get enough sleep.
Thoughts?  Please post your comments here.
Until next week..

Icing The Kicker

In the sport of American football or Canadian football, the art of “icing the kicker” is a tactic employed by defending teams to disrupt the process of kicking a field goal just prior to the snap. Typically, either a player or a coach on the defending team will call time out just as the kicker is about to attempt a game-tying or game-winning field goal. This is intended to distract, frustrate, annoy, and make the kicker nervous, increasing the likelihood of him missing the kick.
Last week, I got iced. Last Tuesday, I got up before either of the boys were awake and I sat down and wrote from early am until 2pm. The only reason I stopped was because I needed to get online for a class I’m taking. My class was the proverbial time out. I will admit, there was a part of me that wanted to blow off the class and keep on writing. Class ended at 4:30 and my son had a swim meet that night that started at 7, so I knew I would have another 2-½ hours to write; providing I could get back into it…
Additionally, I was feeling resentful of the swim meet. Not resentful of the swim meet itself, but I felt guilty that I didn’t want to go; that I wanted to keep on writing; that I wanted to do something for myself. Bottom line, I was pissed that I was unable to continue and I was feeling guilty for feeling pissed.
And I was fretting about whether or not I would be able to get my head back in the game.
That was a bigger feat than one might think. I’d always experienced this with painting. The times when I felt most inspired were often the most inconvenient times; in the middle of the night… in class… while on vacation and sans any art supplies… and now the same was holding true for writing. Just to sit down and do it usually would get me moving towards that infamous “zone“, but getting myself to sit down to do it was an accomplishment in and of itself.
So I found myself on one of my most productive days ever… kicking field goals right and left (or straight and high, I guess I should say) until I got iced.
Truthfully, this happens all the time, doesn’t it? Your kids will always interrupt you at the most inopportune time. The traffic is always the worst when you’re late and the paper will inevitably jam in the copier when you’re trying to print the handouts for your presentation. I’m not just talking about Murphy’s Law… I’m talking about those moments when you are truly at your best; totally present, in the zone or the flow or whatever you want to call it (I call it being incredibly productive) and someone or something calls you to the sidelines. I was the kicker and I was being iced. So, what I want to ask you is… how do you get back on your game after you’ve been thrown?
How do you keep your focus or better yet, knowing that interruptions will arise, how do you bring yourself back to that place before you were interrupted?
When life throws a monkey wrench at you, how do you deal? Do you cover your head and duck or do you catch the wrench and try to juggle?
Please post your comments here.
until next week…
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